


I see the end, and it involves balloons (by Phil)

by cah_avengers



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Balloons, Crack, Gen, I'm Sorry, M/M, What Have I Done, what
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 07:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1461262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cah_avengers/pseuds/cah_avengers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Complete crack fic, based on Rob Liefelds artistic talents.<br/>Steve finds Bucky, and they have an intense face-off while the other Avengers eat popcorn. Balloons ensue, everything is balloons oh my god</p>
            </blockquote>





	I see the end, and it involves balloons (by Phil)

**Author's Note:**

> Complete crack. Don’t blame me for this. Based on this picture by the greatest Marvel artist, Rob Liefeld.  
> http://s12.postimg.org/sd9cj37y5/BALLOONS.jpg
> 
> I’m Phil Coulson in the CAH Avengers group, and yes I have issues.

Steve had finally tracked Bucky down. Months of searching and turns out he’d been in a warehouse in Brooklyn the whole time. Amazing really. 

They were caught in an intense battle, Steve throwing his shield everywhere like the Frisbee addict he is, Bucky pulling out guns and knives from every orifice. The other Avengers had brought popcorn and lawn chairs; at this point Clint was writing down bets and giggling. 

“BUCKY! YOU KNOW ME!” Steve screaming, his voice distorted due to the sheer amount of bulk and god knows what pressing down on his chest. Bucky looked faintly nauseous, unable to understand why his friend seems to have large tumors growing from his chest area (When I say friend obviously Bucky means enemy, because he doesn’t remember and still needs healing cock to remind him).

“NO, I DON’T. GOD, STOP PRESSURING ME, YOU’RE NOT MY GODDAMN MOTHER” Bucky yelled in a whisper, unable to deal with the weight of his own feels. 

“…but Bucky, I am…”. The other Avengers looked at each other and agreed that this was getting too weird. Clint chuckled and pocketed the money from the bets he’d taken. They all backed away slowly, making mental notes to pick up the memory wiping machine from Bucky’s past. 

Bucky screamed with the anguish of a thousand pigeons denied bread, or worse, fan girls denied the joys of licking Sebastian Stan’s hot meat stick. 

“WHAT.” Bucky pulled out another knife from god knows where, perhaps his butt, and slashed wildly at Steve. And then everything stopped.

The knife cut cleanly through the Captain’s suit, a loud bang echoing around the room. A deflated balloon drifted slowly to the ground like a limp dick. Bucky looked like he was having an aneurysm. 

Suddenly, hundreds of balloons started streaming from the slit in Steve’s suit. Seriously. Steve was screaming, his voice painfully high like his lungs were filled with helium. The warehouse started filling up rapidly, crushing the remains of our beloved Captain America against the Winter Soldier, who honestly looked like he accepted death completely.

A tiny pre-serum Steve had emerged from the remains of the super soldier, and he looked at Bucky with tears in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry Bucky…I guess I really inflated my reputation”

Bucky screamed madly as the balloons finished filling the warehouse, his scream fading off as he suffocated along with Steve. Their bodies were crushed together, finally fulfilling the wishes of a thousand Stucky fangirls.


End file.
